Chapter 1: Resurgence

Ryu Seoa. Ten years old.

A mixed-race girl born to a Korean mother and a Welsh father.

Hard to believe, but that’s who I am now.

Coincidentally, time has rewound to the past as well. Right now, after my tenth birthday, it’s the era when I was active as a professional Go player. Funnily enough, the existence of Shin Changmo has been completely erased from this world.

Whether this is a new opportunity given to me, who foolishly brought about my own death, or just a strange phenomenon that happened by chance, I don’t know.

What’s certain is that as I grew up, I slowly inherited the memories of a professional Go player.

At first, it was confusing, and I couldn’t even be sure if I was Ryu Seoa or the man from my memories, Shin Changmo.

But no matter how much I thought about it, no answers came, so I decided to accept both identities as myself.

However, since my memories as a man are far longer, and the gap only widens when excluding the hazy early childhood years, my identity as an adult man feels more solid. So much so that I can’t possibly think of myself as a woman.

Because of this, it’s quite awkward when “Ryu Seoa’s”—no, my—father shows affection.

“My love, did you sleep well?”

A blond man lifts the blanket I’m under and lies down beside me.

Even though he’s my father, accepting a man’s affectionate behavior feels uncomfortable and unsettling.

But if I show my discomfort, I’m afraid he’ll feel hurt, and my reason can’t handle actively returning his affection either.

“Ugh… Father, good morning.”

So, all I can do is awkwardly let him hug me and force a smile.

“Seoa, can’t you call me Daddy just once?”
Since around the age of eight, when my past-life memories became somewhat clear, I started using “Father” and stopped acting childish. He seems a bit dissatisfied with that.

“Um… I’m sorry.”

But it’s too much. Just imagining myself clinging to this man, calling him “Daddy,” makes me instinctively want to gag.

“Sigh. Other kids call their parents Mommy and Daddy even when they’re older, but our Seoa is too mature for her own good. Who do you take after? Definitely not your mother.”

Father pats my head and lets out a light sigh.

“Well, even if you’re not very affectionate, you’re still cute, so it’s fine. I don’t have to go to work today, so I’ll just lie here with you!”

Saying that, he burrows deeper into my blanket. I try to escape to the living room where Mother must be, but Father tightly wraps his arms around my waist.

Thankfully, my reliable ally arrives soon.

“Oppa? What are you doing in Seoa’s room? If you have so much time, don’t bother her and go start the washing machine.”

Mother, who still looks like a youthful beauty unless you know her age, stands at the door with her arms crossed, glaring sharply at Father.

“Oh, uh, I was just saying good morning to Seoa and was about to leave.”

Father, who’s usually terrified of an angry Mother, leaves the room with a sheepish look, finally setting me free.

“Seoa, was your dad making things tough for you this morning? I haven’t started breakfast yet, so you can rest a bit more.”

“No, I’m fine. I slept well.”

“Good to hear. Then go wash up first.”

“Yes, Mother.”

I fold my blanket neatly, grab some clothes, and head to the bathroom.

Closing the door and facing the mirror, I see a petite girl with light brown, almost blonde hair. Her rosy complexion and healthy look instantly tell you she’s been raised with love.

I meet the gray eyes of the girl, tinged with a hint of blue. The lively spark in them soon fades into a hollow gaze.

The frustration and depression that tormented me in my past life have found me again. I still haven’t shaken them off.

But I have no intention of succumbing to those negative emotions like I did before.

That’s why I absolutely won’t play Go again in this body. It’d be a lie to say I have no lingering attachment, but I never want to taste that failure and despair again.

My only goal in life now is to live ordinarily and repay the love my parents have given me.

I don’t expect to find satisfaction or happiness in an ordinary life, not after pouring all my passion into Go, but if I can at least seem okay on the outside, that’s enough.

I mustn’t repeat the unfilial act of my past life, which was no different from suicide.

If I don’t try or make an effort, I’ll never succeed, but I won’t fail either.

But my resolve doesn’t last long.

After finishing my shower, I hear Father’s loud coughing from the living room.

“Darling, are you okay?”

“Haha, I’m fine, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

Hearing Mother’s worried tone, I rush to the kitchen and see Father forcing a smile, his hand soaked in blood.

Father kept saying he was fine, but at Mother’s and my insistence, he reluctantly went to the emergency room. After the diagnosis, the doctor called Mother aside with a grave expression.

It wasn’t hard to guess that Father had a serious illness.

He was immediately admitted, and by secretly overhearing, I learned his diagnosis.

“Leukemia.” Also known as blood cancer, a fatal disease. Fortunately, Father’s case has a relatively high chance of treatment, but the costs are substantial, and he’ll likely need to stay in the hospital for a long time.

“I’m sorry, Seoa. I need to stay with your dad for a while. The doctors say they’ll make him better soon, so don’t worry. Your grandfather will come to pick you up, so be good and listen to him, okay?”

Mother tries to hide her dark expression as she speaks to me.

“…Okay.”

I want to stay and help care for Father, but my presence would only make it harder for him to focus on treatment.

Sitting quietly in the hospital lobby, Grandfather soon arrives, exchanges a few words with Mother, and sits beside me.

“Our Seoa, you’ve grown so much already.”

“Grandfather, it’s been a while. You look even younger.”

I hide my emotions and smile at him.

“Do I? Thanks, even if it’s just flattery.”

Grandfather smiles kindly and pats my head.

“Dad, Seoa’s mature, so I’m not too worried, but please take good care of her. Summer break is almost over, so help her with her homework too.”

“Of course, don’t worry.”

“Seoa, we’ll see you and Dad soon, okay?”

Mother waves as she walks away, and Grandfather leads me to the parking lot where his car is.

It was morning when we left home, but after a hectic day at the hospital, the sun is already setting.

Grandfather’s house isn’t far from ours, but it’s still over an hour’s drive from the hospital.

Lost in gloom, staring blankly out the window from the back seat, fatigue washes over me.

It’s no surprise, considering I’ve been running around eavesdropping in this young body.

I try to stay awake until we reach Grandfather’s house, but my eyelids grow heavier, and I slowly succumb to sleep.

“Ah…”

When I come to, I’m on an unfamiliar bed. Faint sunlight streams through a small window, signaling morning.

How long did I sleep?

“Grandfather?”

I get up and walk through the house, but there’s no sign of anyone. Instead, on the living room table, there’s a covered plate of fried rice and a note.

Grandfather must have gone shopping for groceries early in the morning. The note says he’ll be back soon and to eat breakfast.

Since Grandmother passed away, he’s been living alone, so the fridge was probably empty.

“Damn it.”

Chewing the still-warm rice and emptying the plate to satisfy my hunger, a sense of powerlessness washes over me.

I don’t even know if Father will recover, and there’s nothing I can do.

Even if he does recover, my parents will face financial hardship.

Father will have to stop working for an indefinite period, and Mother, who needs to care for him, won’t be able to work either.

The treatment costs won’t be cheap either. My parents aren’t financially secure enough to handle the upcoming expenses.

But what can I possibly do?

Even if I have knowledge of the future, it’s only superficial.

I know the names of a few companies that will do well, but I don’t know when their stocks will rise. Even if I could scrape by with dividends, it wouldn’t help much, and I have no capital to invest anyway. No one would lend investment money to a ten-year-old.

If I can’t rely on passive income, is there anything else I can do?

Lost in thought, my steps lead me to a study where a computer monitor is on.

The screen displays an online Go lobby. Grandfather must play Go as a hobby.

As if entranced, I sit in front of the monitor and grab the mouse.