Chapter 10: A Chaotic Week in the Great Forest
Over a week has passed since I began my uneasy cohabitation with the priestess.
A period that feels short yet long.
In the Southern Great Forest, one of the four forbidden zones, many events have naturally come and gone. Through these incidents, the priestess and I—
“…You didn’t kill another Guardian Spirit, did you?”
“Come on, another Guardian? No way, not this time.”
“You said that last time, and enraged beastmen showed up. We’ve already pissed off the wolf, bear, and tiger beastmen. If we anger more…”
“We’re leaving the Great Forest soon, so what’s there to worry about? We’ll never see them again after tomorrow.”
“You’re such an evil witch. Your way of thinking… ugh, never mind. Talking’s just a waste of breath.”
Unfortunately, we haven’t grown closer at all.
The misunderstanding I thought would clear up quickly only grew bigger, like a snowball rolling down a snowy hill.
The emotional rift deepened, and at some point, the priestess started looking at me with contempt.
I couldn’t figure out why.
All I did was live to survive and try to clear up the misunderstanding. How did it come to this?
“I don’t get it.”
“What?”
“Nothing, don’t worry about it. Since when did you care about me?”
“…”
Wiping blood off the cleaver, I thought to myself.
This world is way too unfair to witches.
I saved her, gave her a place to sleep, even fed her, and she glares at me like I’m a monster? That’s absurd.
No matter how deeply the theocracy brainwashed her to hate witches, this is too much.
“Sigh.”
I shook my head with a deep sigh.
It’s fine. After today, I’ll part ways with this ungrateful priestess.
I’ll leave behind this stressful life in the Great Forest and finally enjoy a peaceful fantasy life.
“Life outside the Great Forest.”
Looking out the window with hopeful eyes, the priestess shot me a piercing glare.
“You haven’t forgotten our promise to live quietly, right?”
“Of course not. With that much money on the line, how could I? Don’t worry, I really plan to live quietly.”
I have no intention of causing chaos like the protagonist’s party.
My timid nature doesn’t have the guts for that, and besides, a saintess candidate promised half her fortune.
“Unless I get swept up in something, I won’t make a move. Never.”
“…That was the deal. Well, you should be able to protect yourself.”
After a brief, emotionless exchange, we fell into awkward silence.
No more topics to discuss, no tasks to avoid the quiet.
Unable to bear the awkwardness, I lay on the soft bed to nap, closing my eyes under her judgmental stare.
But then—
BOOM!
A sudden tremor shook the ground, forcing my eyes wide open.
“Did you feel that?”
“…Yes.”
“Probably just beasts fighting over territory, right?”
“Most likely. No human would be foolish enough to enter the Great Forest.”
“No need to be so self-deprecating. You didn’t come here by choice, did you?”
“Shut up.”
Snapping primly, the priestess double-checked her packed bag.
As I watched her, another strong tremor shook the ground.
BOOM!
The vibration was stronger this time, and the source felt closer. I grabbed the cleaver from the table.
…Why does this have to happen the day before we leave?
How much more suffering until I can live a calm, happy life?
Grinding my teeth, I looked out the window to assess the situation and saw something bizarre.
It was—
“Is that… even possible?”
A few trees were burning.
I rubbed my eyes, thinking I was seeing things.
But the scene remained unchanged.
A grand sorcerer or dragon, maybe? No, even they couldn’t set the Great Forest ablaze.
Fires in forests are normal, but not in the Southern Great Forest.
The elves, living for five hundred to a thousand years, have cast countless defensive and status-resistance spells on every plant to protect their home.
Their fire resistance can even withstand a red dragon’s breath.
That’s why it’s called a forbidden zone. A flimsy flame wouldn’t earn it that title.
So, the sight before me was shocking.
What kind of being invaded the Great Forest to set its sturdy plants on fire?
Pondering their identity, my face stiffened.
No way.
It can’t be him.
I heard we’re only in the early-to-mid part of the story. Why would he already be here?
No, it’s not him.
Those guys should be in the northern mines, messing with a lich.
In the early-to-mid story, the protagonist’s party should be in the north, powering up.
Fighting the reclusive Arch Lich, realizing their weaknesses, and growing stronger.
Their strength is still far too weak to enter the Great Forest, so no matter how I think about it, it’s not them.
Then who?
Is there a powerhouse in this period who’d come to the Great Forest and start a fire?
I racked my brain for original settings but recalled nothing.
As the flames and tremors began to fade, I shook off the stray thoughts.
“Whatever, it’s probably nothing.”
“It’s obviously something.”
“No, we just ignore it and leave tomorrow.”
“That seems hard now.”
“What?”
Puzzled, I looked at the priestess, who silently pointed out the window.
What’s out there?
Curiously peering outside, I saw a terrifying sight and couldn’t help but curse.
“Holy sh*t.”
Brilliant magic circles blanketed the sky.
Even to a magic novice like me, they looked threatening, hovering above my house, ready to activate.
*
Let’s think calmly.
How many races in the Great Forest could pull off something this grand?
Only the mating-obsessed elves, who prioritize copulation above all else.
So, another question.
Did I ever do anything to piss off the elves?
No, not really.
I entered their territory, but only with their permission.
The vegetables and fruits I gathered were ordinary ingredients, unrelated to stamina.
I can confidently say I did nothing to offend them.
So why are those crazy elves deploying magic to take me down?
I wanted to figure out the reason.
But sitting around theorizing wasn’t an option with the situation this dire.
The moment those menacing magic circles activate, I’d be meeting the ferryman to the underworld.
With no choice, I grabbed the cleaver and rushed outside.
To stop the elves’ indiscriminate bombardment.
And then—
“Oh, the homeowner’s here.”
“…”
“Too bad. If we’d met outside the Great Forest, I’d have proposed on the spot. But to meet in such a brutal place.”
The moment I stepped out, I understood why the elves had terrifying magic circles floating in the sky.
A muscular body fit for a shonen manga’s final boss.
Fiery red hair and blue eyes radiating desire even in this hopeless situation.
The original story’s protagonist, Carl Fasible, rated “top-tier” by the picky elves.
He was facing off with the elves in front of my house.
My mind started spinning.
…Why are you here?
Shouldn’t you be in the north, messing with the Arch Lich?
I tried to process the situation, but the elves, eager to mate with the “top-tier,” gave me no time to think.
[Witch.]
A sultry voice, amplified by a spell, echoed through the Great Forest.
[We’ll give you a chance to surrender. Neutralize that male and hand him over, and we’ll spare your life.]
It sounded merciful at first.
But I didn’t trust those lust-crazed beasts.
I saw what happened to the village chief who made a deal with them in the original story.
So, instead of answering, I tightened my grip on the cleaver.
With a smirk, I slipped behind the protagonist and wrapped my arms around him.
“…This is kinda thrilling.”
“Shut up, it’s not what you think.”
Whispering softly, I pressed the cleaver to his groin.
Then, facing the startled elves, I shouted boldly.
“If any of you make a move, I’ll cut this off.”