Chapter 8: Stalking
Every time I faced her, the absence of her left ear became a heavy shackle in my heart.
The single phrase that she could never return to her kin.
The fact that she was no longer protected by their rules.
I resented myself for not knowing what expression to show her as she spoke so calmly, even smiling at me.
I hated myself.
I loathed myself for having to take everything from her because I loved her.
If I’d known just a bit more, understood her a little better, I might have let go.
I could have stepped aside so she could walk the path God gave her.
She could have spread His word among her kin, enlightening others as she helped me.
But I stole that chance.
I kept her by my side, ruining her dreams.
I kept her by my side, causing her ear to be harmed.
And as if that weren’t enough, I let her be banished from her kin.
Guilt crawled up my spine.
Because I said I loved her, she embraced me.
Didn’t she feel burdened by everything she did because she loved me?
Did she feel compelled to respond to my feelings, pushing herself too far?
Even if she said it was okay, could she truly be happy by my side?
If I made her unhappy, could I even fathom the weight of that guilt?
Seducing a pure woman of the forest, plunging her into misery.
That single sentence might make me a man deserving of death.
If they even said I “used” my position as a priest to care for patients at the forefront of purging sin…
While she was in a heightened state from her wounded ear, she fell asleep in my arms, breathing softly.
The Furia tea leaves have pain-relieving effects but also contain a small amount of sedative.
…I needed to take responsibility.
For everything that happened between us.
She was relying on me.
Believing I could keep her happy.
That I could bridge the gap between short-lived and long-lived beings.
If I failed to meet her expectations, I’d disappoint her—and I wouldn’t forgive myself before that happened.
To the woman who entrusted everything to me with such an innocent, happy face…
Who gave up all her goals to be with me…
I had to become a better person.
We soon moved.
Away from the front lines, to a rural area in the rear, rich with forests.
It was a place where she could recall the forest’s spirit…
Feel the fresh breeze among the trees and relive her memories.
Having grown utterly tired of human interactions, we naturally prepared to meet as few people as possible.
For her love of fruit, we decided to plant various trees.
We planned to cultivate a garden, growing vegetables for her.
Escaping the groans, wounds, and gazes of countless people who tormented us daily…
Hearing only the quiet sound of the wind and birds chirping was profoundly peaceful.
I was simply grateful for the feeling of finally casting off our chains and gaining freedom.
And above all, her expressions of affection were growing ever more intense.
The sight of a woman, more beautiful than anyone I’d ever met, demanding more of my touch was truly joyful.
Waking each morning with long kisses to rouse each other’s spirits…
Checking sprouts in the garden, watering them, feeling her fierce embrace from behind, standing dazed among the trees together for a while.
Sharing every moment with her, we lived a comfortable life.
Until uninvited guests arrived.
In the third year of living with her…
On the day the saplings we planted began to take deep root and sprout vibrant leaves…
People in robes stood before our house.
Her kin, with long ears.
“Ah, Thea. Here you are. We wandered long to find you.”
One of them, who seemed to know her, removed a white hood, revealing their face.
A dazzling face.
Blue eyes and a sharp jawline.
His hair, a much deeper yellow than hers, glanced at me briefly before giving an unpleasant smile.
As if mocking me.
His elegant voice, calling her name, felt as if the forest itself sparkled and resonated.
As if deliberately making me feel insignificant.
“I have nothing to say to you. Leave this place now.”
“You’re too harsh to a kin you haven’t seen in so long—”
“We’re no longer kin. Don’t you understand the words ‘leave’?”
As if to silence the doubts rising in me…
She downgraded the guest to an intruder with harsh words.
“You won’t even ask why I came?”
“I don’t understand why you’d seek someone no longer part of the forest. I’ve already rejected you multiple times.”
“Really? You’d refuse a chance to represent the forest’s will just for a short-lived human? I’m offering you another chance.”
“I came because I believed three years would show you how pathetic short-lived beings are.”
His words stirred the unease I’d buried in my heart.
The things she could have been if not for me.
The opportunities she could have had if I hadn’t loved her.
She told me countless times that being with me was her greatest joy…
But I kept asking God…
Could she truly be happy with me?
Were all my actions truly blessing her life?
Was the arrival of these forest people God’s answer?
A reminder that she was far too great for me?
“Enough!”
As if to quell my unease, she shouted loudly.
With a deeply furrowed, crumpled face.
As if gritting her teeth, her emotions raw on her face.
“Can’t you see I’ve already made my choice? Doesn’t it register that I’m no longer part of the forest?”
“I made my choice willingly, yet you speak as if it’s shameful. I’ve said I despise that arrogance.”
“Why do you keep committing such rudeness?”
“I’ve clearly refused.”
“I don’t want to stand by your side.”
“I’m tired of living under others’ envy and jealousy.”
Holding my hand tightly, leaning into me defiantly, she faced the “intruder,” who began glaring at me with discomfort.
“Even if those gazes bother you, I could resolve it—”
“It’s you I dislike.”
Kissing my cheek with a smack, she no longer spared him a glance.
“You coveted my appearance, presumptuously using words like ‘glory’ to take me by force.”
“When you were humiliated, you banished me to a lesser post. I can guess why you’ve come back so anxiously.”
“But I’ll make it clear here, with many eyes watching: I swear by His name, I will never return to the forest or face you again.”
Finishing her words, she took my hand, leading me away, leaving the man with a distorted expression behind.
His eyes, filled with hatred, looked as if he might draw a sword and strike me.
I couldn’t bear to look at that face for long.
As the door opened, my body was swiftly pulled deep into the house by her hand.
Even then, the intruder’s venomous gaze was blocked by the wooden door.
Closed by her hand, no one else’s.
Only then did I understand what she had been rejecting.
I finally saw with my own eyes what she had been enduring.
“…I didn’t want you to see this.”
Placing her hand on the closed door, Thea, breathing heavily for a while, sighed and glanced at me.
“Elves like that, and humans too, were far too many at that hospital.”
“The worst was that guy, Tolpen, who kept trying to ‘claim’ me with his status.”
“Words like nobility coming from his mouth are truly laughable—”
Quickly approaching her as she clutched her head in exhaustion, I hugged her tightly.
As her trembling body seemed ready to burst, I held her firmly in my arms…
Stroking her hair to help her find calm.
Gently covering her already-severed ear, I buried my face in her shoulder.
“Why didn’t you tell me? If it was this hard, you could’ve shared it with me.”
“If I couldn’t handle even this on my own, I wouldn’t have been ready to be with you.”
How much had she fought alone?
How much pain had she endured, still receiving advances while with me?
Just being there, listening to her, was surely not enough.
I held her to comfort her, but at some point, I was the one in her embrace.
“Shh… it’s okay. Why do you keep blaming yourself when it’s not your fault?”
“Blaming yourself like a fool?”
“Evan, I came this far because I truly love you. You don’t need to feel so guilty.”
“Just keep showing me your usual self so I can love you more, okay?”
Feeling her warm words and touch, I made a quiet resolve within.
To ensure this wouldn’t happen to her again, I’d love her more clearly.
So no one else could covet her.
So she, who chose me, would never feel regret.